Monday, March 9, 2009

day 8 vlcd 151.8

so I am pretty happy with this. .6 down works well for me....especially because I had an extra bread stick last night. :) Today I decided to have eggs and spinach for lunch. It says you can if you have an aversion to meet. So today I had an aversion. I needed something different. YUMMY. it was like a treat.

So my hard thing today was when I went grocery shopping. I bought my family fresh warm french bread to go with their dinner. It was so fresh the window in the bag was steamed up. It took all I had not to eat the entire thing while walking around the store. But I didn't.. Just drank my tea and chewed my ice. Making dinner for my family is getting easier. I have figured out a trick. If I make venison it makes me gag and I don't want to touch it with a ten foot pole. So my family will be eating a lot of our meat stock from the freezer. YUMMY

on a more serious note. I have been thinking a lot about my eating habits. When I was younger I was diagnosed with an eating disorder that I battled until I was about 21. I am very good about playing games with my mind when it comes to food. Tonight I was making my husbands breakfast burritos and I thought "hm a bite looks good." and the thought right after that was "food is bad it will make you gain weight." I had this visual of the scale sliding up 2 ounces and it made me cringe. So it took me back to a day when I would weigh myself after everything I ate and worked out 3 or 4 times a day just to get the gratification of the numbers on the scale going down. So now I sit here an wonder where am I when it comes to food? do food and I have a relationship? is it an abusive one? is this going to make it worse? am I going to slip off that slippery slope? I don't think so. What I desire is a good relationship with food. to not be consumed with it one way or the other. To know what I am putting in my body and why. I am going to use this as a "reset button" for me and food.

sorry for getting serious on you

2 comments:

  1. You are so funny! This diet makes me reflect on my relationship with food too. It really changes your mindset. How did you get over your eating disorder?

    ReplyDelete
  2. I got pregnant and my focus became on eating just like te book said. I hd done a few treatments but they didn't really work for me. I never really bought into the "my life sucked so I don't eat thing." When I got pregnant I was not the number one thing in my life. But I tend to be all or nothing. eat nothing or eat a big mac

    ReplyDelete